I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
