I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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