you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
