So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize