Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
