I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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