i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
