First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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