haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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