like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
