My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I know her cup size but not her name....
try to milk me bitch
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