Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
