cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
