There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize