Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
