Kiss
Puke
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
