You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
