I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
