i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
