you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize