Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
