Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
