I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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