I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
