Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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