i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
