It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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