Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize