come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you didnt know i had herpes?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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