She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
