there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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