Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize