I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
