In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
