I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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