just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
