i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
