Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize