I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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