we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
