dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
