The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
