Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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