she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You're a waste of cheezeits
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
