Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize