never play flip cup with pint glasses
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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