??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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