I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
