he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize