yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
