It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
