He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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