how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
