If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
