carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
sex in a hospital.. check
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
