All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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