it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
