im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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