I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
