I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
