He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
