I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
