i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just found puke in my bra..
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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