They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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