please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
