shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
