You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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