Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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