I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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