I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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