I skipped work to stalk him.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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