Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
