So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
